I manifested cancer into my life.
Sounds horrible, no? Some people may read it and be in a bit in shock. Some may be horrified or won't really believe me. But I believe in the direct connection between the body and the soul. Every illness that is awakened in our body is directly related to what is going on inside of us. Anger, fear, traumas, dense and suppressed feelings and emotions are affecting our body, especially if their energy is stuck in our body and we didn’t give them validation when we first felt them.
My story
A decade ago, in 2014, I finished studying in high school. My date to enlist in the military was around January 2015, so I had time to rest. I flew for the first time in my life to Germany with my aunt and uncle that brought me with them as an enlistment gift. After I got back I was searching for a job and I started to work in a job with a minimum wage that I didn’t like. As the time passed by, I felt more and more suffocated since I knew that I am going to enlist soon.
I didn’t want to enlist. I always believed that my place was not there. I wouldn’t have shirked it, of course, but deep inside me I knew that this is not something that I need to do. Moreover, I was supposed to be in the Air Force in some position that I heard is very challenging, and it stressed me out even more. I just wanted to go to university and study something I love, to be free and not belong to any specific institution.
The days that went by started to feel like hell on earth to me. I was suffering at work, crying all the time when I thought about the military, and I started sleeping poorly or not at all when anxiety attacks started happening in the middle of the night. I couldn’t fall asleep and I needed to calm myself down or watch some YouTube videos until I was drained enough to really quiet my mind. To suppress everything I was feeling within me.
I was a zombie, half dead inside.
A few days before I left my job so I can get ready to enlist, I felt something in my neck. It felt like a lump on the left side, right under the jaw. I was naive and thought that my neck was just stiff in that area and that’s why I was feeling something there. I decided not to deal with it for a few days because it might go away by itself, but my thoughts came back to it again and again. Intuitively I knew something is wrong when it didn’t pass.
I remember that it was a shock to find out it was cancer. I remember I couldn’t stop crying and I thought I might die. I remember the support of my family and friends. I remember it was a difficult period of time but one that taught me a lot. It was empowering and putting things in perspective.
I always said that the cancer was a gift. Because having it was helping me reevaluate my path. It helped me to stop everything, rest, to show myself how much strength and power I have within me. I let myself get help from people, get presents and just be. I was not in a pursuit after a certain thing. For the first time I really took care of myself and gave myself the attention I needed.
Everything has a reason, even illnesses
Why do I tell you all about it? Because I know that I manifested cancer into my life. I didn’t want to enlist, I wanted to go study as early as possible, I wanted to fly abroad, I wanted freedom… and I received all of it. I received everything I wanted from having cancer.
I am sure people will ask me – but why did you choose cancer specifically? Of course I didn’t choose it consciously. But it is what I had to go though. It was exactly what was wanted to express from within me.
Whether people will agree with me or not – it is not the point. I had to go through this period of time especially because I was at the beginning of my spiritual awakening; when I just switched between believing in spiritual laws and getting out of the Matrix, to switch back to the false reality. Sometimes this journey will bring up some challenges. But these challenges are the ones that we need to go through so we will choose life, we will choose truth. This truth will appear only if we will let things evolve naturally, only if we give ourselves the time to learn and really understand and shift to a higher state of consciousness.
It all depends on the way we look at things of course. Anything can be good, bad or neutral. We are the ones that put the tag on things. I could take this experience as bad and keep living it more and more and more in my present days. Because what we put the focus on is what will come back to us in our reality.
The world is the mirror of who we are inside. and the world showed me back then exactly what I needed to see. However I didn’t give up. I didn’t accept that suffering and pain will be my reality. So I changed myself internally (I understand it only in retrospect) – and the mirror changed as a result.
And a few words to whoever is battling with cancer or any illness or disease that came from nowhere and makes them suffer or feel pain – nothing is a coincidence, not even this disease. It is there for a certain reason, a reason that only you will know for sure what is its source. There are no coincidences and so the work is from within. Only you can help yourself, if you choose it. When you will get to the root problem, give love and compassion to yourself and understand that you are not defined by your disease. On the contrary, take it as a good sign, a sign to wake up. A sign to start an inner change that your soul wants and needs.
Get help from whoever that is around you if you feel like it. You are not alone in this, and no matter how much the reality looks like it is stuck, or this horrible illness will never go away – it is just the mind that refuses to believe in another way. It refuses to believe of a way of miracles and options. Because anything is possible.
Divinity's Way 
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