From a very young age I remember I felt like I wasn’t belong – to my environment, to the general beliefs of the society, to the way my family lives. I was always in a fantasy world of such, running away from my reality. Wanting more. Searching for more. I think it is a combination of the journey of my soul (the character I chose to be here in this lifetime), and the place I was raised in.
I didn’t have a bad childhood. It was completely normal, with highs and lows that every other family has. I don’t blame my parents for the way they raised me and educated me, they did everything they believed to be the right way, their truth. Before we came to this world, we chose our life, the character we will be, our family and the people around us that we know and we will meet in the future. Every one of them came to help us to awake and learn more about ourselves. Today, I know that if I hadn't gone through my past experiences that brought sadness and pain to me, I wouldn’t have awakened to the truth as it is.
From a young age, I believed in God just as the Jewish religion believes in – as an external source that you have to follow his rules. It didn’t last long until I felt like maybe there’s no God, and later I believed that there is an external and higher Source (But, to be honest, it was just a rephrasing of what my mom used to say. I just agreed with her and took this concept with me). Anyway, it was always a matter that changed because something inside of me was searching for the truth, for self exploration.
You can say that my journey to explore the truth and awakening started from the moment I was born. But I will mention the fact that in one of our elementary school’s trips, my best friend introduced me to the book “The Secret”. It's a very well known book, and from what I know it's also a book that helped a lot of people at the beginning of their spiritual awakening. I remember this book was a milestone. I continued to explore the concept of “the law of attraction” and I also read the books that came after “The Secret” (from the same author), and beside that I watched its movie a few times to remind myself that there's some truth behind it. There is something that wants to be revealed. It gave me some kind of proof that the power is within me, that I can be the creator of my reality and I did in fact attracted some things to my life, but it was never consistent. It came and left me like the waves – I believed in the essence of this book, but I still went back to my old mindset and believed to the stories of my character because I had also a lot of things that I didn’t manifest. There's a truth to the books of “The Secret” and yet something there was missing.
When I found out that I have cancer, at the end of 2014, I was still sleeping spiritually. I did remind myself that there is an importance to how we relate to illnesses in our body (aside from the support of my family and friends) and that’s what helped me to heal faster and to understand that I am not defined by the illness. I will share more about it later on.
At the end of 2020 I met the teachings of Neville Goddard, and he changed the way I see my reality and the laws of the world. Neville was a spiritual teacher at the end of the 20th century, and he is not alive anymore. However, his books, his writings, his lessons and the recordings from his lectures – moved on. When I got introduced to his teachings, I went through something that made me go back to my spiritual beliefs and go deeper into them. And I give thanks to myself that it happened, because without that I would have stayed in my life in the Matrix. Since then I kept researching and exploring everything about consciousness, about who we truly are and the truth of this world – and everything changed. I can’t go back to my old life and live a “normal” life. I can’t keep living in what we call the Matrix.
I was experimenting a lot in my life – I manifested so many different situations, I manifested an abundance of material stuff, of people… and I saw so many reflections of me in my reality that I couldn’t believe anymore in “coincidences”.
Because there are no coincidences. Everything’s precise.
Everyday that passed by just got me closer to the truth. And what's the truth? we are all one. We all came from the same being – God. God is a part of us. God is us. Underneath the masks that we all have – we are just the Source. We are everything. Everything that happens in life – whether it is conscious or not – we are the ones that manifested it. Good things and bad things. Things that are right for us, and also things that are not right for us.
At the end of the day, everything that happens in the here and now is neutral. We are the ones that put the tag of what’s good and what’s bad. What’s right and what's wrong.
The awakening journey isn't just one point and from there you can only go up, It's gradual with ups and downs. I can see it in my story especially – although I was open to it from a really young age, I was not ready for it yet. I needed to go through a lot of lessons and obstacles to learn and evolve and understand that this reality is not as it seems, but a pure illusion. And how can we understand it without experiences? Without trying things out?
It's important for me to emphasize that no matter where you are in your journey, be sure you are right where you need to be. Have faith that no matter what's happening or what your fears are telling you – you can go through it. You need to go through this path to learn and evolve, to believe even more in who you truly are and your inner power. It's not a gradual journey for nothing, and it changes from one person to another. Sometimes it’s fast, sometimes it’s slow. We need to be courageous so we can look at the things as they; so we can give our feelings and emotions a permission to go through us without judgement and with love.
Personally, I wouldn’t have given up on any experience in my past, whether it was good or not. All of the experiences and situations that I have been through were the ones that formed me, that helped me to develop myself and my awareness and made me become who I am today. Maybe in the future I will be a different version of myself, but she will be more developed, deeply connected to herself and more understanding. The awakening journey is spreading throughout our whole life here, it's not one goal or destination.
Enjoy the moment, from the here and now and enjoy the amazing journey you are going through.
Divinity's Way 
כתיבת תגובה